Reason Behind the Ink

I've been told since I was younger that tattoos are trashy. They're a permanent destruction to your body. I destroyed my temple. I tainted something that was already perfect.

That isn't true. My body was tainted by a disease that destroyed my insides. I survived all of that so I could decorate my "temple" the way I please. Every tattoo has a story and a meaning to who and why I am. My favorite story is my most recent.

In the last couple months I lost myself. I found myself caught in a depression and spiraled because I was so busy taking care of others around me that I forgot about myself. It's not an excuse for the things I did or said but I realize now that those actions shouldn't be a reflection of who I am as a whole. That person is a broken person. I have tried to hide from that person since I met her senior year of high school. Depressed me is a mean person, but a lost and hurt person too. No one person or one thing is responsible for her hurt, but there is one person responsible for keeping an eye out for her. That person is me and I forgot about that. I let myself down, but also let others around me down as a result.

That isn't a choice for me anymore. I will never forget to look out for my number one ever again. Because I have a constant reminder from both of my parents to keep me first. That I don't have to change for anyone, that I am who I am meant to be, that broken or not I am going to be okay, From now on I will look down on my right arm and be reminded "I am enough...more than enough."

I will forever wear my heart on my sleeve, I will always give more to other than I do myself, I will take more than I should. It is who I am. But I cannot forget the words that lie underneath that sleeve. "I am enough...more than enough." This beautiful quote in the handwriting on the two people who have always had my back no matter what, my mom and dad. The two people who never fail to pick me up when I fall...every time I fall. The two who will never let me forget I am a fighter, I have been through worse and I will get through whatever it is this time. My reminders that one day I will get my happily ever after.

Cliche as it is, this year is my year. This is the year I will get back to my best self. I will keep myself as my priority. I will love myself more and will make myself proud.

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