You Are Tougher Than You Think

It's the feeling that you can't breathe. That there is a weight on your chest that won't go away. It's the slight panic at the realization of one small thing. One second you're fine, the next you're reliving every wrong thing you've ever done, ever expectation you didn't reach, and step in the wrong direction you made. Then you get over it, feel numb for a little until it all comes rushing back. I've seen many forms of anxiety in the past few years but it never gets easier. Anxiety comes in waves. At times it's hidden just waiting for the right time to take over. Other times it's slight and easy to manage. The worst is when its full force. You're too busy worrying that you're doing everything wrong, but you're also unable to change anything. I have seen almost every side of anxiety. I've been at my highest to my lowest in a matter of minutes. Recently I've felt like there was an elephant just sitting on my chest at all...

(Warning – long post, thank you for reading my jumbled thoughts) To be completely honest, I never know this was a thing until this year. I guess we’re in the day and age where everything has a day, a week, or a month of recognition. I mean there is a national wine day so why not have a Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness Week. More people are bound the celebrate national wine day, but I really don’t blame them. Crohn’s and Colitis has never been a fun thing to talk about, but it’s nice that there is a week to bring awareness to these diseases. They’re not very known and you’d be surprised how many people suffer from these invisible diseases. This week I’ve been on travel for work, so I haven’t really had much of a chance to reflect on my UC. It was last night when my stomach started cramping I realized that it isn’t something I ever need to sit down and reflect on because it is always going to pop its ugly head up in the most inopportune times. Like last night and today for example...