Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness Week


(Warning – long post, thank you for reading my jumbled thoughts)

To be completely honest, I never know this was a thing until this year. I guess we’re in the day and age where everything has a day, a week, or a month of recognition. I mean there is a national wine day so why not have a Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness Week. More people are bound the celebrate national wine day, but I really don’t blame them. Crohn’s and Colitis has never been a fun thing to talk about, but it’s nice that there is a week to bring awareness to these diseases. They’re not very known and you’d be surprised how many people suffer from these invisible diseases.

This week I’ve been on travel for work, so I haven’t really had much of a chance to reflect on my UC. It was last night when my stomach started cramping I realized that it isn’t something I ever need to sit down and reflect on because it is always going to pop its ugly head up in the most inopportune times. Like last night and today for example. I’m away from home, of course I forgot my emergency dose of medication and I fought through the day because I had a job to do. No one I’m around knows I’m not feeling great because it’s not something that always has visible symptoms all the time. Don’t get me wrong, when I was incredibly sick a few years ago you knew. I either had my chubby chipmunk cheeks from steroids or I looked like if I turned too quickly I was going to snap in half due to my insane weight loss. People knew I was sick. They might not have known why, they made their own assumptions, but they knew something wasn’t right.

Earlier this week I took some time to look through old pictures and make a social media post about my progress. The out poor of love and support wasn’t something I was expecting. People I haven’t seen or heard from in years reached out. I guess you never really know who was in your corner after all. I didn’t make that post (or write this) to make anyone feel bad for me. I am so proud of who I am and how far I’ve come. I faced some of my worst days when I was sick. It isn’t something I would wish on my worst enemy, no matter how much I hated them.

In my case this disease was passed down from generation to generation. I know it’s hard to understand but I don’t resent the individuals who pasted in down nor do I wish I didn’t have the disease. My grandfather was and will always be my hero. My father is my rock, my sanity, and my #1 guy. How do you resent the men that built you to be a strong female? How can you be mad that you are alive, even if it is life with a disease? I sometimes forget how lucky I am to be where I am in life and to have what I do. I get caught up being jealous of the things that others get that I don’t. I get jealous of other’s happily ever after when I’m not sure where my story is going to end. Jealousy is an unfortunate human characteristic. This week brought me back to where I should be.
I fought a battle that no one should ever have to face. I defied the odds. I went to hell and back, then did it again years later. I might not know what the future has in store for me, but my past prepared me for whatever might come. Today I’m happy, we’ll face tomorrow when it gets here.

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