Priorities During Times of Illness

WARNING: I do not mean to offend anyone by this posting. I made a promise to myself and my readers that I would always be completely open and honest in my posts, even when dealing with the hardest and most emotional subjects. To this I must stay true. This is not an easy subject and I don’t take it lightly. Understand that I appreciate everyone who has been in my life over my 18 years of illness. I’ve learned different lessons from different people and for that I am forever grateful. Again, I mean no harm.

This is something I’ve written about before but I can’t stress this enough, we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of anyone else. I mean this both mentally and physically. The last time I spoke about this I focused mostly on how to tell others about you’re struggles and worrying about how they’re dealing. Being sick takes a strain on our mental state, especially when were going through the testing period and we don’t know the next step let alone what might be wrong. This is no time to be worrying about anyone else. Let them take care of themselves, if they’re real friends they’ll still be around when you’re more stable.

This is also a good time to realize who you’re true friends are. When you have to tell someone that you have to take some time to put yourself first, their reaction will show you who they really are and if you honestly need them in your life. You’ll probably have 3 types: (1) you’ll have the ones who will drop everything to be there for you, (2) the ones who ignore you’re request and still attempt to draw the attention to them, and (3) the ones who honestly don’t care and completely drop you because you are no good to them.

Friend type 1- these are the good ones. The ones that will do whatever it takes to take your mind off of what is happening. They’re the ones that if you want to talk, will listen at any time of the day. When you don’t want to talk, they will make sure you’re distracted, by getting you out of your house and out of your bed when that’s the last thing you want even if it’s the best thing for you. Even if you are fighting with this friend, it won’t matter when you’re in need.

Friend type 2- these are difficult, I must admit. In reality these types can’t help how they act. They don’t understand what you’re going through and still think that they’re the biggest priority. After my years and years of dealing with this kind of friend I’ve learned sometimes they’re not worth the stress. They make all situations about them even when you need them the most. This is when you put some space between you two and take care of yourself. If you need someone to talk to, see friend type 1.

Friend type 3- I’m going to make this one very simple, drop them. You don’t need them. They’re no good for you and you don’t have the time or the strength to deal with friends like that. Sorry friend type 3 but BYE!

Again, it’s taken me 18 years to get here and I’m still working on it. I’ve gotten to the point that some friends aren’t going to be there for the long haul. Unfortunate but true. When you stop considering everyone else for a little while and take care of yourself you’ll learn whom you need to keep around and who you don’t. Don’t become completely selfish because a true friendship is about give and take. There is no shame in taking care of you.