The Sun Will Shine Even After the Darkest of Times

Today I sat back a realized it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Thinking to myself, “well, life has been pretty good lately so I don’t have much to vent about.” That's when I realized that’s the wrong outlook to have. Just because life is going really well for me right now doesn’t mean I should forget that others are still suffering. More importantly, feeling good and being happy is something that I shouldn’t take for granted. Yes, this disease is a roller coaster; I can’t overlook the good while it’s here and just wait for the bad to come back around.

When I came back from my transplant I was a senior in high school trying to figure out what college I wanted to go to since that was an option again. I started to get fed up with “pity” high school drama. Mere months before I was caught up in that same kind of drama. The boy you have a crush on is dating your best friend, or “my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me and it’s the end of the world!” When I came back none of that seemed important anymore. What got me the entire time was the idea that those little things seemed like the end of the world but you know what? You have your health.


Now I might be slightly guilty of the same thing. Don’t get me wrong, I will never forget where I came from. It made me who I am after all. But now I find myself caught up with a new relationship, having different plans with friends every weekend (and sometimes even during the week, shocking I know), getting back into shape, starting a new job, etc. I’m lucky because right now I can afford to have those things be my priority. While it seems stressful now, I need to enjoy it while it lasts. It wasn’t always like this and at a drop of a dime it could all change.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Buckle Up and Lets Go for a Ride

There are a handful of things I've been keeping from you. First thing is...I started this blog as a college assignment. Wild right? A class assignment was to start a blog and talk about something you were a "professional" at. Well, I'm really good at being sick. So why not talk about everything in a format like this. It was temporary. So why not bare some of the deepest parts of myself. If anything, it would get me a stellar grade. Well, it did get me that grade, but that wasn’t enough for me. I have a story and I might as well use it for good. The day I decided to continue this blog is the day I promised to myself, and you, that I would continue to put it all out there. Problem is…I keep things from you. I make this blog look like I have it together. I get handed a bad hand but I’m a fighter. I’ll be fine. Blah blah blah. If I was being completely honest, I was holding it together for a while. Until about a month ago. I really thought diabetes was going to be enough ...
Read more

Facing Trauma Head On

Image
For the longest time I didn’t truly understand what trauma meant. I didn’t believe you could have PTSD without seeing wartime. I was very wrong. In the past couple of years, I have been trying to understand and learn from my traumas. Of course, they will never go away but understanding and accepting them helps. This year, between work, life, and everything else, I planned my yearly post-transplant check up on the same week as my actual transplantaversary. Looking back now that was a huge mistake. There is a certain type of anxiety leading up to the anniversary and a very different anxiety leading up to going back to where it all began. This year not only did I have to face those head on but I had to face the fact that: My Islet Cells are probably not working well, if at all I am officially insulin dependent For the longest time I really thought I would have an ostomy bag before I ever had to have a constant glucose monitor and an insulin pump but here we are! While placing my first eve...
Read more

~ 12 Years Later ~

Image
I know I always talk about how difficult the year has been when I write these anniversary posts. This year makes all the 12 others look like a piece of cake. Last year when I was doing my reflecting, I was trying to get a grasp on the fact that I was officially insulin dependent. I thought that was going to be the big change of the year. Then comes September. I told you that I have a huge decision to make. Have I made my decision yet? Absolutely not. Do I have a clear answer in my head? Still no. I did start my infusions for my active Crohn's. It is still weird saying I have Crohn's. I spent 26 years convinced it was UC. That's forever considering I just turned 30. It's already pretty hard to realize that I have spent my entire life knowing nothing but being sick, but now it was the completely wrong disease? Lucky for me, I did get confirmation that I would have undergone the same surgeries no matter what I was diagnosed with from the beginning. Could you imagine if all...
Read more